I love finding memes on the internet. I often think they’re hilarious. This one? Not so much.

Here’s where I get off the “I have to spend time at home with my kids” bandwagon.

I don’t have to, I get to.

Being at home with my kids is a blessing. Too many of us squander our lives away competing with others to move ahead in the workplace, but too often neglect our obligation to our offspring. We wade through life’s waters attempting to get from one career milestone to the next without reflecting on what we might have already achieved. Our culture is obsessed with constant motion and forward progress. We tend to overlook what is right in front of us.

A friend of mine recently told me about a statement he heard. It’s wrapped in religion, but I feel it rings true. With this coronavirus lockdown in many states, it’s as if God is forcing us to slow down. God sent most of humanity to our room as a temporary punishment. He put us on a time out. It’s funny, but it makes sense.

When I was younger, there was no internet. When I was forced to be in my room because I did something worthy of punishment, which was rare by the way, I used to read, play with toys, listen to my albums, or did whatever I could to pass the time. I would often just lie down, think and daydream. I would hear through the grapevine about my friend’s punishments. They might be grounded, they might have a favorite toy or item taken away. Others might not be able to see certain friends for a week, or even two!

That’s how it feels for so many of us now. We’ve been grounded. Many of us experienced a sudden layoff from our employers. We’ve received orders from our state governors to not be in groups above a certain size. Several politicians are telling us to stay inside as much as possible for weeks, or months. It’s not fun at all. It almost feels like a collective punishment.

When you receive your punishment from your parent or guardian, you act out in certain ways. You might rebel, become angry, become full of temporary resentment, but eventually, you come to terms with reality. I’m actually at peace with what’s going on around me at this point. I’ve accepted the fact that most of the people I know are unemployed or underemployed. I’ve made peace with the arrangement my ex-wife and I agreed to and the long term ramifications of it. I’ve also begun to see clearly just how much time I’m going to have with my kids now that there is no more school for the rest of the year. I think its absolutely wonderful.

All of the parents I know in New York are home with their kids all day and night. Several people I know are dealing with being under the same roof with spouses they cannot stand. It might be rough for many people dealing with these “on pause” orders. It might feel like a penalty to have to be with certain people, confined into a space that isn’t.  What isn’t a punishment for me is spending time with my kids. It’s a blessing.

I feel this way because I value each and every moment I have with them. I’ve dealt with a court system hell bent on trying to deny me my rights as a parent, and I’ve been dealing with a rather uncooperative ex ever since. I’ve been a stay at home dad since the birth of our children, and I’ve seen how much joy parenting can be. I love my job as a professional musician. I understand the importance of working to provide for myself and my family, but I also know what my priorities are. As we can see from this catastrophe, jobs come and go. When this is all over, we will either go back to a job we once had, or we may not. We also pray that our loved ones will survive this pandemic and we can go on with our lives.

I came to the realization many years ago that I should never take relationships I valued for granted. It’s why I cherish this time with my children.

Those who think caring for your kids is like being pecked to death by a rooster might want to rethink what really matters. Children are only young once. You can always get another job. Always.

Your kids are irreplaceable.

 

 

Clayton Craddock is an independent thinker, father of two beautiful children in New York City. He is the drummer of the hit broadway musical Ain’t Too Proud. He earned a Bachelor of Business Administration from Howard University’s School of Business and is a 25 year veteran of the fast paced New York City music scene. He has played drums in a number of hit Broadway musicals including “Tick, tick…BOOM!,Altar Boyz, Memphis The Musical and Lady Day At Emerson’s Bar and Grill. In addition, Clayton has worked on: Footloose, Motown, The Color Purple, Rent, Little Shop of Horrors, Evita, Cats, and Avenue Q.

Clayton is the chair of the New York chapter of the National Parents Organization and is focused on promoting shared parenting, where both parents have equal standing raising children after a separation or divorce. He is writing a memoir and writes for various local and national publications.

If you want to receive posts to this site in your inbox, enter your email in the subscribe section. You can also follow Clayton on Instagram and Twitter  – www.claytoncraddock.com

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