Zigaboo

George Farmer, Zigaboo Modeliste and I having a moment (of fun) after his soundcheck at Freight and Salvage across the street from The Berkeley Repertory Theatre back in October of 2017.

We were fortunate to have the opportunity to watch his soundcheck in between our shows at “Ain’t Too Proud.” We had the chance to chat with him for a good 45 minutes. I asked a million questions and he seemed like he had a million answers for me. I had three million more to ask but he was reminded by his manager to get some food before he had to work…so we let him go-lol!

He was great to talk with. I’m glad we had the chance to meet a living legend and an amazing musician.

I was about to call out sick to my show but remembered that I had no subs in Berkeley to fill in for me if I were to take off…damn..damn…DAMN!

I sure would have been dancing to some good ol’ NOLA funk if I were at his show. He’s so good!

I love that music and love me some New Orleans.

By the way, it appears as if Zig made a choice that I’ll be making soon…moving to the Bay Area. He’s been there for a while.

GOOD CHOICE sir!

I’ll have to catch one of his shows soon. Maybe in 2018 at the Jazz Fest?

Clayton Craddock is a stay-at-home father of two children in New York City. He has a B.B.A from Howard University’s School of Business and is also a 17 year veteran of the fast paced New York City music scene. He has played drums in a number of hit Broadway musicals including “tick…tick…BOOM, Memphis the Musical and Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill with Audra McDonald.

He has worked on other musicals; Footloose, Motown, The Color Purple, Bare, Rent, Little Shop of Horrors, Evita, Cats, and Avenue Q and is currently the drummer in a new Broadway bound musical titled Ain’t Too Proud.

Clayton has written for A Voice For Men, The Good Men Project and is writing a memoir about fatherhood.

 

Remote Parent

 

I tasted a bit of the life of a father who is cut off from his kids. I’ve been away from my kids since July 9th of this year. The last time I saw them was in the middle of August, and that was only for about five hours.

It is the beginning of November as of the writing of this post.

My separation was voluntary. I accepted a short term job offer on the other side of the country with the expectation that making this sacrifice now will lead to longer term employment down the road. As it stands now, I have no idea if this was the right move. What I do know is that I’ll never choose to be away from my kids for this long again.

Never again.

The father who has fewer options and is separated from his kids due to a vindictive mother and/or the family court system has it worse than I do. My pain is self inflicted. I can only imagine how awful it is to know that the court system forced them away from their own flesh and blood.

It truly is a miserable experience being away from my children. I do not recommend being apart from your kids for work reasons for long. It’s just not worth the money most of the time.

I know for a fact that my children need me to be there for them. I’m missing out on months of their school year. I’m missing out on seeing them transition to new schools, meeting their new friends, new teachers, and new experiences. I can’t answer the questions they might have, address their concerns about schoolwork, engage with them regarding their thoughts about current events. I’m not able to fully engage because I’m not there. Being on the phone and speaking to them is one thing, connecting through video chat is another. Being face to face is a whole other ballgame.

It’s important for fathers to be present in a child’s every day life. They need our guidance, perspective and protection. The post-divorce model of “every other weekend” dad just doesn’t cut it. It is incredibly inadequate and doesn’t provide the necessary balance a child needs in their formative years.

Attempts at remote parenting are futile. Trying to stay close by chatting on the phone is similar to having a long distance relationship. It might work for some, but just imagine if you could only see your partner every other weekend? How close do you think you could actually be in the long run? Would you want a husband or wife if you could only see them this way for 18 years?

I’m glad I have the option of being away from my kids and not being forcibly removed. I won’t make this decision ever again. Most divorced fathers don’t get this opportunity. The feeling of powerlessness is overwhelming at times. Not being able to have a physical as well as spiritual connection is demoralizing and dispiriting.

I’m no longer choosing the remote parent model. I’m sticking close to my kids and watching them grow up up close.

 

Clayton Craddock is a stay-at-home father of two children in New York City. He has a B.B.A from Howard University’s School of Business and is also a 17 year veteran of the fast paced New York City music scene. He has played drums in a number of hit Broadway musicals including “tick…tick…BOOM, Memphis the Musical and Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill with Audra McDonald. He has worked on other musicals; Footloose, Motown, The Color Purple, Bare, Rent, Little Shop of Horrors, Evita, Cats, and Avenue Q and is currently the drummer in a new Broadway bound musical titled Ain’t Too Proud.
Clayton has written for A Voice For Men, The Good Men Project and is writing a memoir about fatherhood.

Three Tips On How To Get Paid What You Are Worth For Gigs

I often hear musicians talk about the amount of money certain gigs pay. People chat about the tip jar having to be passed around because club owners pay so little. They might get paid a few dollars here and there for the gig,  but hey, at least they get a meal out of it. They complain about how hard it is to make a living and how tough it is. While some of those things may be true, it’s not always the reality for musicians. There is money to be made in the music business. The tip jar isn’t required if you get paid well. There is a lot of money out there. As a freelance musician, you just have to know where to find it and how to negotiate for the most money you can make.

I love the art of negotiation. I think it’s fun. I love going into a car dealership and hassling with the salesperson. It’s like a game to me. I tend to do it almost wherever I go to see how far I can push people in any business. I was in the market for a car a few years ago and went to a couple of dealers just to see how things have changed since my last purchase. I wasn’t necessarily in a position of power because I  needed a car, and they had the goods. The way I looked at it was like this; I was willing to walk away if I didn’t find what I wanted. In fact, that is what happened in the end. I walked away from the dealers and I found a car from a private seller and purchased a used car with cash.

When dealing with musicians, business owners or any kind of production where they need your services, always keep in mind that if they are reaching out to employ you, they want what you have to offer. While you may not have much leverage, you still have power. You must realize that there is a way for the both of you to win in this game. You just have to know what some of the rules are.

1) People want to make a profit:

Whatever someone is intending to pay you, you must understand they are making money from your services in one way or another. They are trying to pay you as little as they can so that their profit margin can be as wide as possible. Don’t feel bad asking for as much as you can because there is more often than not, wiggle room to play with. The person offering you a gig has a budget and they are trying to keep their expenses low. With this knowledge, you can go into any deal making process with less of a personal connection because it is all about money in the long run. Once you take any personal feelings out of the equation, you can get down to the business of increasing your profits while they are trying to do the same. In the end hopefully you find a way to help each other achieve similar goals without anyone feeling abused and/or taken advantage of. Look for a win-win scenario.

2) Get to know the general rates for your service in your area:

For many years, I was paid a certain rate for club dates (weddings/corporate events) as a drummer in the tri-state area. I thought I was getting paid a lot of money for a four hour gig on a Saturday night until I found out people were making $100 to $150 more than me. I then started to get hired for bands paying those amounts and realized there is even MORE money than what I was now getting paid when I asked around. I even found out that other bands had backline. When I discovered the going rate, I raised my own price and the bands that recently hired me agreed to my new fee without any hesitation. Think about what I said above. Why would someone pay you the higher rate when you don’t ask for more? They are trying to make as much money as they can. Why can’t you?

3) Negotiation is risky.

I was in a negotiation recently where I was going to have a production rent my drum set instead of them purchasing a brand new kit. We went back and forth over a few emails and they decided to buy a new kit instead of renting mine. I lost out on a whole lot of money but in the end had the chance to play on a top of the line drum set, brand new cymbals and sturdy hardware. It was GREAT. The downside is that I missed out on all of that money. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but you have to be willing to say no or you might forever be taken advantage of. In this case it was still a win-win. A brand new kit? I’d rather play on the new kit than my 20 year old one.  The same situation occurred on other gigs. I’ve asked for certain amounts and was turned down. Well, that is one of the downsides of any negotiation. But you must understand what your self worth is. If you value yourself and your services, you should demand a price that makes you comfortable and be willing to walk away when your conditions are not met. You also have to be able to deal with being told “NO” and not getting hired, or getting the money you requested.

Think about this; when you go into buy a product from the Apple store, is there any negotiation? No. You are paying for the reputation of the company and the generally great products they have to offer. You can go to Best Buy and get a Windows product and buy something else too. That is your choice. You get what you pay for most of the time. The same applies to your services as a musician. If you present yourself as valuable and price yourself accordingly, you will be surprised at how many people will pay what you request.

Sometimes you lose, but the overwhelming majority of the time you win when you approach negotiation with this in mind. Don’t be afraid to be bold. You didn’t get into the music business to be poor, behind the curtain or undervalued. This is a business more than it is about music. Deal with the money so that you can feel freer to create the music and high art you were put on this earth to do.

Clayton Craddock is a stay-at-home father of two children in New York City. He has a B.B.A from Howard University’s School of Business and is also a 17 year veteran of the fast paced New York City music scene. He has played drums in a number of hit Broadway musicals including “tick…tick…BOOM, Memphis the Musical and Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill with Audra McDonald. He has worked on other musicals; Footloose, Motown, The Color Purple, Bare, Rent, Little Shop of Horrors, Evita, Cats, and Avenue Q and is currently the drummer in a new Broadway bound musical titled Ain’t Too Proud.
Clayton has written for A Voice For Men, The Good Men Project and is writing a memoir about fatherhood.

I Miss My Kids

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

One thing I learned from being away from my kids since July 9th is that I’ll NEVER AGAIN take chances on future success.

Never again. NE-VER!

My days of “hoping things will work out” ended as of right now. I won’t do anything with the hope that things will get better in some unspecified time and place. No more investment now for the unknown future.

The “spec” days are for young folk, not for me.

It’s time for some stability, big payouts and living the next 49 years in the least stressful way as humanly possible.

I love my family more than anything and will be making every move, from now on, with them in mind. My mental and long-term physical health will also be front and center.

Maybe it’s just me, but as cool as things may seem on the surface, some things are just not worth it in the long term. With each passing day, I’m figuring out what really matters to me.

These two matter.

Fatherhood matters.

Raising two people who are going to be the next generation of citizens matters.

It’s time to get back to NYC and be the father I want to be…and have always been.

Nov 7th…I’ll see them again and I’m never leaving them.

 

Clayton Craddock is a stay-at-home father of two children in New York City. He has a B.B.A from Howard University’s School of Business and is also a 17 year veteran of the fast paced New York City music scene. He has played drums in a number of hit Broadway musicals including “tick…tick…BOOM, Memphis the Musical and Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill with Audra McDonald.

He has worked on other musicals; Footloose, Motown, The Color Purple, Bare, Rent, Little Shop of Horrors, Evita, Cats, and Avenue Q and is currently the drummer in a new Broadway bound musical titled Ain’t Too Proud.

Clayton has written for A Voice For Men, The Good Men Project and is writing a memoir about fatherhood.