The unmarried father.

We hear all the time about heroic single mothers. We hear very little about the other half of the population. Yeah, fathers can be just as heroic and can raise children without mothers. I feel it is NEVER good to raise children as a single parent, but if it is forced upon you by a death of a spouse or through our horrible court system that allows people to unilaterally end a marriage without the consent of the other, you gotta deal with it.

I am doing my best, but still would love to have a partner in the home helping out.  Any single parent can attest to this fact. It is easier when you have more than one person raising children.

The reason why we rarely hear about single fathers is because most men don’t have the desire to raise children on their own. It rarely crosses our minds. We don’t have groups of single straight men who want to go out and find an egg donor so that we can choose to raise a child on our own. It doesn’t make sense to us.

When you really think about it, it certainly doesn’t make sense to CHOOSE single motherhood either. Decades of single motherhood and the legacy it has left behind has taken a toll on our society. Widespread fatherlessness is the root cause or so many of our society’s social issues.  I sincerely hope that there will be a change for the better in the near future where we have more of a balanced approach to child rearing. The notion of going it alone is unwise and does far more damage to children than good.

For decades, our culture has been led to believe that men are simply bankrolling the family operation and add nothing except their financial contribution. You can read in several of my blog posts that that is totally false. Fathers play a crucial role in child rearing. The intangibles are just as important as the things we clearly can see. I feel we have to educate a new generation on what both parents add to the family instead of dismissing what dads bring to the table. 

It makes my skin crawl when I hear about ‘independent women,’ or how ‘I don’t need a man.’ I feel women need us just as much as we need them. It is time to stop with the games and tell the truth.

Life is all about balance. Children need the guidance of a father just as much as they need the nurturing of a mother. It is time we start understanding our roles as human beings and throw out the notion of going it alone.

There are thousands of single fathers out here. We know how to raise children just as well as single mothers. I ain’t the one to boast but dammit, I am probably the best father any kid would want. LOL! I have been with both of my kids from their birth until this day. 10 years of, diapers, bottles, band-aids, sippy cups, strollers, uncontrollable crying, breaking up fights, dealing with playground issues, homework, cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner, reading bedtime stories, handling emotional issues, teaching new concepts, finding answers to the question ‘why”, entertaining, being entertained and simply loving both my beautiful daughter and son. I am lucky to be blessed with two healthy children and cherish every day I am with them.

It’s time for women to know that good men exist. We are not all gay or in jail. We just want great partners. It takes two to tango and a village to raise a child. None of us really want to raise children on our own. Let’s be honest and tell the truth.

Yeah, I got this, but I don’t WANT this. I have a feeling that most women really don’t want to be single either.

I saw this article on this very topic and I had to pass it on. Read it here:

http://thyblackman.com/2011/09/12/eleanie-campbell-i-got-this-single-black-fathers/