I completed my fist mani-pedi last week. The last time I tried was in 2007. 

I received a gift certificate for Father’s day back then from my family to get a haircut, facial, manicure and pedicure from a place called BBraxton in Harlem. I thought it was cool because I had never had a gift like that. Not a gift of self care to that degree. 

I got my haircut by one woman, a facial by another, them my manicure. I didn’t have time to get the pedicure because of my chat with the woman who did my nails.

I was maybe two months into my divorce during my 2007 manicure. I was still relatively shy, but I could still strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I was reeling from the fact that I was in the middle of a civil lawsuit with my wife and wanted to talk about it with anyone who would listen.

I managed to find out through our conversation that the woman who was digging into my cuticles was a recent divorcee. She told me something that I never knew could be done. 

She said she and her ex-husband decided to share custody of their son. They both agreed it would be best for her ex-husband to be the custodial parent and raise their son, since her ex-husband and her son were both males. I thought that was fascinating. I don’t agree that one sex is better at raising the same sex child but that is another post. 

She then told me that in addition to them sharing custody, they were opting out of child support. 

I asker her what opting out meant. She said, “You do know they you don’t have to pay anyone child support if you both agree to opt out.” I said, “Opt out? What do you mean?”

She replied, “As long as you both agree, neither of you have to pay child support.” I told her to stop immediately. 

I ran out and called my lawyer and asked him if this was true. He said “Yes, it’s true.” I knew right then and there I was not paying my ex a dime in child support. It took 11 months to deal with the insanity of family court, but thanks to my manicurist, neither my ex nor I pay child support. We share our kids 50/50 and our kids are just fine. 

12 years later, I have a great girlfriend. She treated me to this mani-pedi. I didn’t ask any questions or think about much of anything this time. I just sat back and enjoyed it all.